Posted by SeattleWilly
I am always amazed when I meet a new, aspiring pick up artist and I’m asked the same fruitless question: “Can you tell me any good pick up lines?”
That is where the problem lies. Pick up lines don’t work. Let me repeat that so you understand this clearly:
Pick up lines don’t work.
Why? Pick up lines don’t work on women because they are socially programmed to detect them and have a built-in defense mechanism that prevents it. In fact, these defense mechanisms are actually subconscious most of the time. The term for this defense is often referred to as the “bitch shield”. An example conversation that illustrates this defense mechanism might go something like:
You: “Hi, what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
Her: “I have a boyfriend.”
There are many web sites on the Internet loaded with all kinds of pick up lines, just waiting for some average frustrated chump to try out for his next rejection. When the guy fails to attract the female with his pick up lines, he usually chalks it up to some physical flaw he has that ensures he will never be attractive to women. He may continue this process until he finds a woman whose self-esteem is so low that she is attracted to anyone who pays her even the tiniest amount of attention.
This is an unfortunate pattern that happens every day to countless men. The truth is that approaching and attracting girls has very little to do with physical appearance. Most men will go their entire lives not knowing this, which is a sad but realistic fact. Attracting girls is about projecting the proper character and knowing how to approach them without being subjected to their first line defenses.
To understand this more clearly, you must understand the fundamental instincts when dealing with females: Survival and Reproduction. You see, when it comes to mating, women have more to lose than men do. First of all, women are the one's who become pregnant. Carrying a child for 9 months is no simple matter (not to mention the pains associated with birthing). During the time the woman is pregnant, she is physically programmed to look out for the survival of her baby. Her hormones change. Her desire for reproduction drops to a very low level (since she already has a seed planted), and her body undergoes physical changes. Most men would agree that a pregnant woman is not as sexually desirable as a woman who has not mated yet (although they will never admit this to the woman they have impregnated).
The second factor to consider is that raising a child requires a great deal of resources and time. Looking at this from an evolutionary perspective, men have typically been the resource providers in relationships. On the flip side, the woman historically spends her time nesting. This social contract has existed since man first came down from the trees and started walking upright. Of course, women are fully capable of providing for children and do so very often, but it is not an instinctual trait that they carry.
A man, on the other hand, can go from woman to woman spreading his seed without the instinctual fear of hurting their survival. It is true that men in our current society often fear conceiving a child with a woman, but it is a socially programmed trait. It is not necessarily a physical instinct that exists within them. To better understand this, you must learn the (general) equation:
- Women spend much of their lives favoring Survival over Reproduction (80% / 20%)
- Conversly, men spend much of their lives favoring Reproduction over Survival (80% / 20%)
This is why men tend to cheat more than women. It is a physically programmed instinct, but not an excuse that will win a man any forgiveness. This equation explains why men are forced to do all the approaching, and women get to do all the choosing. It also explains why men spend time trying to learn those magic words (i.e. pick up lines) to attract a woman, and why women their time dressing up, wearing make up and trying to smell nice. It is "survival of the fittest" at its very core.
So if you can understand and accept this equation, how do you take advantage of it? How can men benefit from this? You have to flip the equation and get women to chase you instead of you chasing them. Your efforts to chase women are going to be the least successful, especially if you use pick up lines. If you want to learn how to do this, pick up a copy of my book "The Player's Guide to Attracting & Seducing Beautiful Women", where I explain exactly how to do it based upon biological and social science.
Peace,
Seattle Willy
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Tags: pick up lines, attraction, confidence, survival instincts
Posted by SeattleWilly
I've added a new definition glossary of commonly used terms and acronyms that pick up artists use.
Peace,
Seattle Willy
Currently rated 3.5 by 4 people
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Posted by SeattleWilly
You can increase your social connections dramatically by learning to detect positive body language and by showing positive body language to a potential mate. The following are indicators of interest that should help you to learn when a potential mate has interest in you.
Is She Interested in Me?
The following is a general list of potential body signals that she just might be interested in you. It takes a keen eye to notice some of these, but armed with this knowledge, you will be surprised to find that there are more women interested in you than you think.
- She engages in repetitive glances your way – Often times a woman will subconsciously send you a signal by glancing repetitively your way.
- She looks at your mouth a lot – If you have a genuine smile and have engaged in simple autoerotic signals (licking your lips etc.) and she spends a lot of time looking at your mouth, she might be interested.
- She strokes her outer thigh – A woman may subconsciously engage in small body movements that attempt to draw your eye to a particular part of her body. This is a sign that she may be interested.
- She engages in preening – When you see her licking her lips, fluffing her hair or engaging in general preening activity, she is likely interested.
- She adjusts her clothes – This is another indicator of interest and is similar to preening. She may be signaling that she wants to look good for you.
- She exposes her wrists – A woman may expose her palms and wrists to you when engaging in a conversation. Watch for this signal, and you may find she is interested.
She stands with her legs apart, hips tilted and weight on one foot – This is a subconscious posing routine that women sometimes show when they are interested. Watch for this activity when you are standing and conversing with her.
- She exposes her inner thigh – If she sits with one leg tucked under her and reveals her inner thigh, she may be interested. This is only true if her head and body also point towards you.
- She smiles broadly with a “genuine” smile – A smile with direct eye contact is the most universal sign of interest.
- She giggles and flips her hair – A woman who is genuinely interested will show you by laughing and flipping her hair.
- She invades your space with objects – It could be her hand, her wine glass or some other small object, but when she places it within your personal space and leaves it there, she is showing that she trusts you. This could be a good sign of interest.
- She leans towards you and moves her head towards you – When a woman is interested, she will try to move into your personal space to show you that she trusts you. This is a strong sign of interest.
- She scans over your body repeatedly – If you notice her checking out your body more than once, she is either assessing you as a potential mate, or she finds you appealing. Either way, it is a sign of interest.
- She “squares off” or “synchronizes” with you – This is a universal sign of interest for both men and women. You may see her matching your gestures, body position and attempting to synchronize with you. This is a subconscious sign of interest.
- She crosses your field of view multiple times (with a glance) – If you notice her crossing your field of view multiple times, and she also sends a glance your way, she just might be interested.
Is He Interested in Me?
The following list of male body language can give you a leg up finding a potential mate. Because most of this body language is subconscious, it can be difficult to detect and respond to. Practice looking for these signs and you should see your social connections take a positive turn.
- He engages in preening – Men tend to preen by picking small pieces of lint off of their clothes. Look for this behavior and if you see him do it, he may be interested.
- He flares his nostrils – A subconscious signal that he is “opening” his face to you. Along with a smile and raised eyebrows, he is showing his interest.
- He flashes his eyebrows – This super-quick split second signal indicates that he is interested.
- He parts his lips – If he likes what he sees, he may part his lips when you lock eyes. This is another subconscious signal of interest.
- His eyebrows remain raised when talking to you – When you see this, he is showing that he is interested in what you are saying and may in fact be interested in you.
- He pulls up his socks – A strange signal, but it goes along with preening. When a guy pulls up his socks in front of you, it is an almost 100% sign that he is interested in you.
- He checks out your body, and lets you know it – If you see him checking out your body and doing so in a way that you can see it, he is sending you a strong signal of interest.
- He displays his crotch when sitting and is pointing towards you – This is a (sometimes) subconscious signal that he wants you to see what he can offer you. It is another strong signal of interest.
- He has his hands in his pants pockets with his thumbs out pointing at his crotch – Like women, men subconsciously try to draw attention to body parts they want you to see. In this case, he is telling you he is a potential mate.
- He stands erect and “puffs up” – This is a subconscious signal that he is making himself look stronger and can increase your chances for survival. He may also display his chest by pushing it out.
- He touches your shoulder or arm – This is a universal sign of interest from both men and women. If he engages in touching you more than once, he is probably interested.
- He guides you by placing his hand on your back or your elbow – This is a subconscious signal to you that he is a leader. This is one of the signs that alpha males use to tell women they are strong. If you see this, he is very likely interested.
- He “squares off” or “synchronizes” with you – This is a universal sign of interest for both men and women. As with women, you may see him matching your gestures, body position and attempting to synchronize with you. This is a subconscious sign of interest.
- He crosses your field of view multiple times (with a glance) – As with women, if you notice him crossing your field of view multiple times, and he sends a glance your way, he just might be interested.
Peace,
-- Seattle Willy
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Tags: body language, attraction, men, women
Posted by SeattleWilly
So today has been strange to say the least. And it ends with me doing perhaps the most lame thing a guy can do. Before I tell you about that, let me say first:
A window fell out of my house - We had a major wind storm and one of my windows literally fell out of the house. I did not know this was possible. My girlfriend told me there was something wrong with the window, but as usual I didn't believe her. Now I do.
Since I wasn't able to get much work done due to my efforts to craft something to cover the now-gone window and the "I told you so's" coming at me, I opted to spend my night doing the most lame thing ever and make amends. I watched Uptown Girls with my girlfriend. Aside from the fact that Brittany Murphy is smokin' hot...
...the show is probably the most "chic flick" movie that ever landed on this planet. So.... I'll probably have to put in some time working the wee hours tonight, but at least I got that amends out of the way.
Peace,
-- Seattle Willy
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Tags: brittany murphy, window, lame, wtf